Saturday, 12 September 2015

Review - The Womanizer

If you're a regular reader of my reviews you'll already know a few things about me and the way I review.
  1. I am always completely honest, regardless of who is paying me or asking me to write.
  2. The stronger the clitoral buzz, the better the review from me will be.
  3. I crave new things, new designs, new innovations. When you see, play with, and talk about toys as often, and for as long as I have, you get bored easily.
  4. My reviews are my personal opinion and I can only speak for my bits, my reactions and my experiences so I cannot guarantee a product will do for you what it does (or doesn't do) for me.
With all that in mind, let's talk about this new product that's been doing the rounds as the Latest-And-Greatest-Most-Unique-Vibrator-Ever-Made-Absolutely-Guaranteed-To-Make-You-Orgasm-Every-Time wonder toy: The Womanizer. 

I've seen the advertising for this toy, I've read the marketing, I've seen the testimonials and the rave reviews. They claim this toy will give you guaranteed orgasms. Not only that, but if you buy it directly from the Womanizer website they offer you a GUARANTEED ORGASM OR YOUR MONEY BACK!! Now I don't need to tell you that's a hell of a claim to make, and one that set my curiosity into overdrive.

The first thing I noticed about this toy was the fact that it doesn't look like any vibrator I've ever come across before. The only way to describe what it looks like is to compare it to those lights doctors use to check your ears, albeit one that Barbie has got to with her Bedazzler and trusty “what chicks like” handbook.
It comes in a variety of pretty colours and patterns, incorporating pinks and blues and leopard print and even Swarovski crystals on one of them. If sparkle and bling are your thing, this toy was made for you.

It has a super sturdy and discreet case to store it in (imagine a heavy duty, zippered sunglasses case), and comes with the handbook, a USB charger and a spare “tip”. 

So just what is so special and unique about this toy? What is it that sets it apart from just about every other clitoral stimulator in the world?
Well that's actually kind of a cool thing. Whereas most vibrators rely on direct stimulation to the clitoris via vibrations, this works differently. This toy works by stimulating the clitoris without even really touching it at all! I know right? What does that even mean??
Well here's the thing, the tip bit that I mentioned comes with a spare, is like a little cap you place over your clitoris, and then, when the toy is on, it works with this sort of gently humming and sucking mechanism that stimulates the nerves and the area around the clitoris and thus brings you to orgasm.

Now I have to say I was sceptical. Like I said at the start, I really like a good strong buzz to get my motor running and simple hand tests with this toy didn't seem to cut the mustard. Like yes, sure, I could feel it sucking on my finger tip and gently buzzing, but it just didn't seem to have the oomph I usually rate so highly. It was also a little bit loud when turned up high and I thought with the gentleness of it and the noise on top of that I would probably get distracted too easily and it would be a fail... But in the name of science I took the plunge and brought it to bed with me.

Let me just say this. I ALWAYS recommend testing the buzz etc of a toy before you buy it because it's important to know just how strong or weak or hard or soft it will be... But in the case of the Womanizer this tip kinda goes out the window. The feeling of it on your clitoris, versus the feeling of it on your fingers, is so different I can't really describe it.
The other thing that surprised me was as soon as you have it over your clitoris and the tip is sealed, you can hardly hear it.
This thing is deceptively strong. But in a totally different way! It's hard to really explain how, but I'll try it with one of my famous analogies. Have you ever had a mozzie bite that you can't itch directly because it kind of hurts, but if you itch around it it feels better? This is kind of like that, without the hurt. It really is kind of remarkable. To every girl who has ever written me a letter asking me how they can get that super buzz feeling without the pressure or direct contact with an over-sensitive clitoris... This is for you. It's gentle enough that it won't cause any stress or pressure to your most sensitive bits, but it works in such a way that the whole area of your clitoris is stimulated and aroused. I was able to bring myself to orgasm every time I used it, and yes, even made myself have a couple of multiples as well. This (multiple orgasms) is something I'm pretty good at doing anyway though, so I'm not going to say it will work as well for everyone.
It has six speed settings, but no rhythms or pulses, and it's so easy to use with a little “on” button and a big jewelled button to push through the speeds. It's also pretty easy to clean too. The silicone tip is removable for easy cleaning and it comes with a spare just in case. The toy itself isn't waterproof so don't run it under water to clean it.

I will say, however, there are a few things I'm not loving about this toy.
Firstly the way it looks. This is just personal and of course everyone is different, but I just think it looks tacky. I'm not into bling or pink or things that look like they came from the Barbie Dreamhouse and this is all those things wrapped up in one. Even the ones that aren't pink have that “girly” look to them and I wonder if it will appeal to anyone over the age of 30.
Secondly I don't like the name. Not only because every time I read it I start singing Britney in my head, but because of the negative connotations around the word “womanizer”. Women are constantly told to avoid players and womanizers. They're bad for us. For our self esteem. For the sisterhood... And so I cringe a little.
The final thing I'm not a big fan off is the fact that once it's in place and sealed and the buzz is going you can't move it. If you do you break the seal and the intensity goes away. I felt a little bit stiff using it for the first few times and I really can't imagine using it as a clitoral stimulator during sex as there would be far too much concentration on keeping it in place and not enough on the actual enjoyment. But again, that's just me.

Overall I really rate this toy. I highly recommend it to women who are curious about sex toys but don't want one that looks and feels too confronting. I know many women find a direct buzz on their clitoris far too much to bear too and this eliminates that completely.It's cute and pretty and actually works, so if you're into cute and pretty, I think you'll love it.

Quite a few people have mentioned the price to me, as it is one of the most expensive toys on the market right now and have asked if I think it's worth it. To that I say, for the right person, yes, for a number of reasons. The main one being the amazing ability it has to stimulate you quite vigorously without being vigorous itself. If you feel like you're too sensitive for direct clit stimulation, but really want to experience the tingling sensations of a good clitoral orgasm, then I definitely would suggest giving this one a go. Yes it's expensive, but I don't think it's a rip-off.

For it's innovation, uniqueness and what I believe could be a revolution in more women learning how to pleasure themselves, I give this toy a 7/10. It loses points for tackiness and not being able to be taken into water.
For the best priced Womanizer's in Australia, you can buy them HERE!

Until next time,

Happy Buzzing, my friends!

Sunday, 30 August 2015

No Blood Please, We're Whorephobic

On the subject of whorephobia and of people refusing to acknowledge, respond or answer to their perpetuation of it (see last blog here), I bring you the Australian Red Cross Blood Donation group.

Blood donation is important. I have had friends who have needed blood donations, family members and acquaintances. According to the Australian Red Cross only one in thirty people donate blood, but one in three people will need blood transfusions in their lifetime.
This is sad. Really sad. Millions of people who need blood are going without because we don't have enough people donating blood.

However, this is not the whole story. It is not the fact that Australians are cruel and lazy and don't give a shit about other people. On the contrary. Almost every single person in my circle of friends (and I have quite a large circle of friends) would donate if they could.
That's the kicker IF they could.

For one reason or another they are unable to. Personally I think a few of these reasons or another are completely shit, discriminatory and outdated. But that's the way it is, and it doesn't look like anything is going to change any time soon.
There are four categories my friends who are unable to donate fall into.
  • Living in England between 1980-1996
  • Having had a tattoo within six months
  • Being a gay man
  • Being a sex worker

If you take the “Am I Eligible to Donate” quiz on the Donate Blood website, The Red Cross asks you a bunch of questions about your history in order to determine if you are eligible or not.
Questions include are you pregnant, do you have low iron, your age group etc … And they also ask a question about “Risky Sexual Behaviour”.
I totally get that question. It's super important and valid. STIs in the bloodstream can be fatal, and the last thing you want to do is expose someone to those sorts of diseases and infections... It is absolutely imperative to sexual health and sexual practices to be safe and protect yourself and the people you are having sex with from infection.

You know who knows this better than any group in the world?
Sex Workers.
People who fuck for cash.
Sorry. I got a bit cross there... But for fuck's sake. This is something that irks me so much it should be shouted from every fricken rooftop of every fricken house.
This is their idea of “Risky Sexual Behaviour”

Now I get that unsafe sex is risky. I get that unsafe sex with multiple partners is risky.
I also get that the stigma against gay men and sex workers being “dirty” is rampant in this whorephobic, homophobic world... BUT... it's old. It's so fucking old and tired it's bullshit and stinks of discrimination. Because according to this you can have as much unsafe sex as you like... Unless the person you've had unsafe sex with has also had unsafe sex with a man who has sex with men.

Sure, if you're the sort of person who goes out every weekend and has unprotected sex with people then I get why you can't donate. That's absolutely risky. But that isn't what they're saying at all.
Nope. It's only if you're gay, or the person you've slept with might be.
In fact, Red Cross, to single out and assume all gay men are like this is what is called “homophobia”. Say it with me, folks, H O M O P H O B I A.
No no, say the Red Cross. We aren't homophobic. Gay men can donate... They... They just can't have sex for a year beforehand.
What about the men in long term monogamous relationships?
What about the men who have casual sex but use protection every time?
What about the fact that AIDS IS NOT A GAY DISEASE?
Nope. Doesn't matter. Red Cross don't want your tainted homo blood. Eew!

Next we come to the whorephobic discrimination against sex workers. Sex work is lumped in with “Risky Sexual Behaviour”. Yes. Risky. Because, you see, money makes it bad. You can go out and fuck a hundred people in a week... But the minute money exchanges hands, well you're probably diseased and icky. They also like to lump in “drug use” in their whorephobia because hookers probably fuck for drugs and drugs are bad m'kay. Conversely, there is no question in there about getting high as fuck on E with your friends and heading off to a nightclub and fucking a bunch of people in the toilets...
Because that's okay. You weren't, you know, paid for it.

This blatant whorephobia comes regardless of reams and reams of facts and statistics that show and prove that among any demographic Australia Wide, Sex Workers are of the lowest percentage of STI carriers in the country.
Here are just some examples of websites, articles, research papers etc that prove just how wrong the Red Cross are in their discrimination:

Several sex worker friends of mine have reached out in recent weeks to ask the Red Cross to please explain this discrimination. On a thread on their Facebook page last week there were a whole bunch of questions being asked.
Why can't I donate if I'm gay?
Why can't I donate if I lived in the UK?
Why are you bowing to Muslim pressure and allowing your biscuits to be Halal?
Why can't I donate if I'm a sex worker.

Interestingly and very tellingly every single comment got a response except the ones asked by sex workers. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.
Don't believe me? Here is the link to that thread:

They used their tired old homophobic excuses re the gay men. They explained about the risk of mad cow disease within people who had lived in the UK during those years. They even responded to every single bigoted comment regarding their biscuits... But the Sex Workers have nothing. Not a single comment, explanation or excuse.

Sex workers have provided links to back up their statements about the lack of STIs among them and their peers. They have asked articulate, intelligent, well argued questions.. But nothing.
“I would donate but now you're Muslim dogs” gets a reply but “Please explain why you won't allow a group of people with proven safe and healthy blood to donate?”.... Crickets....
I too have reached out to them on Facebook and on Twitter to absolutely no avail. They just will not respond. At all. Zip. Nada. Nothing.
This is absolutely unacceptable.

I call on every sex worker in Australia, every sex work ally, every friend or partner or family member of a sex worker to get on board and start asking the questions that demand answers.
Why, when we are statistically proven to be of lower risk than almost any other Australian group of people in any state or territory, are sex workers not allowed to donate much needed blood to save lives?

I'm not holding my breath for an answer...
(EDIT: How interesting. About twenty minutes AFTER this blog was published the Red Cross decided to reply to ONE of the comments on their Facebook thread. One. They said they had to check because they didn't know the answer... I call BULLSHIT! I call stalling because today their Twitter is blowing up. I say revoke your dumb policy now and stop blowing smoke up our goddamn arses. We usually get paid for that. We ain't letting you get away with it for free)

While we're waiting here's some examples from that thread...

Thursday, 27 August 2015

Hey,Turkey, Don't Be That Guy...

Oops... Too late...

Things are often misunderstood on the internet. It's like its “thing”. Sarcasm is misread, words taken the wrong way, things taken out of context. It happens every day. Hell, it even makes the news if someone has gaffed on Twitter. The public reacts, the outrage swells, the original poster usually either apologises for the misunderstanding, or goes into defensive mode and attacks back. Words are spoken, delete buttons are pushed and people forget and move on to the next gaffe.
I spend a lot of time online. I see these things happen all the time. Sometimes they're big, sometimes they're small. Sometimes I sit back and watch it unfold, other times, especially when it's a topic I feel very strongly about, I will make a comment.
This happened last night on a Facebook account I follow and enjoy. A comment was made and the public reacted. And then a really, well, actually kind of depressing thing happened.
Let me explain from the start.

I Bet This Turkey Can get More Fans Than NOM is a great little pocket of the internet universe. It was created by a guy who was fighting against National Organisation of Marriage – You know, that bunch of whackjobs from America who use “the sanctity of marriage” as a front for blatant homophobia. He wanted to see if he (or his turkey picture) could get more Facebook likes than them. He did. And also succeeded in becoming a popular page for LGBTI rights. I enjoy it thoroughly. I always trawl through there and read the posts and the articles. The guy who runs it is funny and and often posts up his reactions to homophobic messages he gets which are always hilarious and well constructed sarcasm and mirth at the idiot who has posted.

Last night something happened and I'm actually so pissed about it it's already ruined my morning.
The Turkey posted a link to a news story in which everyone's favourite pure Christian, Josh Duggar, had been outed by a sex worker/adult star as having paid her to sleep with him. She mentioned he was frightening, terrifying even, and that he had been rough and abusive in both his actions and his words.
Now I know why the Turkey posted this. Duggar is a guy who holds himself up as a beacon of purity and Godliness. He is completely homophobic and anti equal marriage, despite recently being charged with the sexual molestation of a number of young girls (including his own sisters), outed as a frequent Ashley Madison user, and now this story of sex workers and rough sex. For activists all around the world who have a hand in fighting for equal rights (myself included) its a gold mine. It truly is. The word hypocrite has been used more times than when Tony Abbott opens his mouth on just about anything, but I digress.
The Turkey posted up this article titled “Porn Star says she had terrifying rough sex twice with Josh Duggar”and captioned it with this comment: “Something tells me that his wife should be getting an STD check asap.”
Completely ignoring the fact that this woman had a terrifying experience. Completely ignoring the fact that fucking porn stars is probably not the thing that good, pure Christians for the sanctity of marriage should be doing. Completely ignoring the fact that this piece of badly written “journalism”came from the Daily Mail which is known for its sensationalism and gossip-mongering. Nope. Forget that shit. Let's make a tired and boring old joke about dirty dirty sex workers and their disease riddled bodies. Ew!!
Almost every single comment underneath it said similar to my above comment. People taking task to the fact that not only had this woman been treated so appallingly, but also the actual fact that sex workers have probably the lowest number of STIs in any demographic because of the rigorous testing and protection and prevention steps they take.
I was upset. I was disappointed. I wanted the Turkey to understand that his comment was not only unnecessary, but also hurtful and contributing to the rampant whorephobia that I see and encounter every day. Not so much towards myself any more, but towards sex workers in general. To my friends and colleagues. Hell, the whole Amnesty thing recently brought out whorephobia to the public eye and wow, was it unpleasant and nasty to view.
So I wrote him a comment. I wasn't rude. I wasn't even angry. I was disappointed. This is my comment. (I would screenshot... But...)

"Wow Turkey. What a whorephobic, uneducated comment. Sex workers and adult film stars have some of the lowest rates of STIs.
Pretty sure you of all people know the harm and pain and hatred that stigma and uninformed asides can make. It's the whole reason you set up this page. To stand up against hate speech and people spreading bullshit propaganda and lies and reinforcing that in the eyes of some, others are less equal. This time it's her job not her sexuality that's being shamed. Not cool, Turkey.
Don't be that guy."

I wanted him to realise that his words have consequences and that he of all people should understand those consequences. That hatred and misinformation spread by ignorance do so much damage. That stigma hurts. The thing is he KNOWS this. He's lived it. It's the whole reason the Turkey page was created! But for some reason, and it happens all the time, when it comes to being insulting to an entire demographic of people, it's totally okay if it's sex workers. We are lesser humans in the eyes of people. No matter what minority you're part of, at least you're not a dirty, disease riddled sex worker. Hey! You molest your sisters and cheat on your wife and frighten women... But at least you're not a whore! Let's focus on the whore! We can make fun of her! Why not! She's just a whore....
My comment garnered a lot of likes because, I assume, people agreed with me. Like I said, almost every comment on the entire thread was in the same vein as mine. I really hoped the Turkey would see it and respond to me. To apologise and realise his words hurt. Even if they had come from a place of misunderstanding. It was obvious to me that he had struck a nerve with many people and it was, to little ol me, actually quite heartening to see so many people on the side of sex workers, defending her job, her medical history and hoping that she was okay after her experience.
But that didn't happen. Nope.
I woke up this morning and saw that the Turkey had made a comment on the post. Ooh! Yay! Little ol me and the rest of the commenters had maybe got through to him! One more converted to the “let's not make fun of sex workers for just doing a damn job” pile. Yay!
Nope. Well, not really anyway.
Turkey went on the defensive. He edited the original caption and wrote a post chiding everyone who had commented on whorephobia because we were all mean and horrible and how dare we take something he'd said and try and twist it. All he'd meant is that because Duggar was sleeping around his wife should be tested. Which in itself is a valid comment. But, and it's a huge but, considering almost 100% of the comments had “taken it that way” and considering the fact that I see these sorts of “dirty STI whore” comments almost daily... Well, I'm sorry, Turkey, but your comments were taken on face value and that face was one of derision and whorephobia.

The other thing that pissed me off was the fact that, although every other comment mentioning that his caption was not cool is still there, he deleted mine. Gone! Zip! See ya later! I only happen to have the print copy of it because I had copied it onto my clipboard while Facebook was being a bitch and I wanted to have a copy in case it didn't post properly the first time.
Why delete it? Why just mine? The only thing I can think of is that mine is the only one who actually attempted to educate him on WHY it was offensive for someone like the Turkey to make such a bold and uninformed comment. I explained it in the words of homophobic misinformation. I made it personal to his experience. I tried very hard to not be rude, but to educate (while being pissed off, sure). I think maybe I struck a nerve. It's very telling to me really. And that makes it even worse. It really does. The fact that mine is gone but the others remain makes me wonder if his defence is all a bit bullshit. Too after-the-fact. He deleted my comment, my comparison to homophobic propaganda and perpetuation of stigma and hate, and then wrote his defence with the ending “Good riddance” to anyone who had even considered to have the merest possibility of a hint that he may have been a bit out of line with his comment...

Yeah. Silenced and deleted and chucked off the page.
You know what, Turkey? You became that guy.

Index Labels

acceptance ads adults adult shop advertising advice A Girl's Guide To Getting Off all women angry Angry Aussie animals annoying app art Australia Australian People Magazine Australian Red Cross awkward awkwardness bad sex bigotry blood blood donations blow-up dolls bullying bumping uglies celebrities censorship Channel Ten Chantelle Austin children Chocolate choice CineKink cleaning clitoris. Orgasms. multiple orgasms. sexy. sex shop comedy condoms confusion Cosmo Magazine costumes couples sex toys Craig Thompson deception depression discrimination doing the right thing don't be an idiot Dr Caroline Norma educational embarrassing embarrassment equality erotic erotica Eva exploitation famous fantasy feminism feminist porn Feminist Porn Awards fetish Food frustration fun Fun Factory funny Fun Toys future gay marriage GLBTI Go The Fuck To Sleep Grand Prix grief G-Spot toys G-Vibe G-Vibe 2 hate HollyInAlbury Homophobia humor humour hypocrisy I Bet This Turkey Can Get More Likes Than NOM impotence information Je Joue Jimmy Jane jokes kegel kegel balls Kim Kardashian Kyle and Jackie O laugh Lelo Lelo Ida LGBTI LGBTI Youth lifeline. loss male sex toys Margaret Court masturbation media Men menstruation messy Mia Freedman misogyny Morgana Muses movies Noni Hazlehurst Nu Nu Sensuelle Point Nu sex toys Nu Vibrators old man opportunity orgasm parents passion patience pelvic floor pelvic floor exercises period sex Permission 4 Pleasure Petra Joy porn pornography presenting prostitution publishers publishing radio rant rape realism regret religion review sad sadness safe sex satire sex Sex. sex work sex education sexpert sex positive sex shop sex shops sex sponge sex toy sex toy review sex toys sexualisation of minors sex work sex workers sexy silence silly skanks skittles Slut shaming smartphone song Sophie Loves Sex sponges stereotypes STI Stigma stripping Swan Swan sex toys tattoos teenagers television tennis The Australian Sex Party The Circle thruster Tim Tams Todd Akin turn offs TV unrealistic unsexy vibrator vibrators video ViolaTurtleDove waiting weird We-Vibe We-Vibe 4 We-Vibe 4 Plus Whorephobia Womanizer women writing your tattoos make you a horrible mother